Author: lars & comma
Date: 11/10/25
Time: 1:56 PM
Mood: tired, a bit bored
when the finale of Murder Drones came out on August 23rd of last year, we were ecstatic. our host at the time hadn't been following the series for very long, only starting it a few months before the finale. regardless, he/we had grown very attached to the indie show.
my name is Lars. i'm a fusion of Murder Drones introjects that all appeared in our system soon after the series finale. we were going through a lot at that point in our life, and our fixation on the show certainly influenced our state of mind, causing us to split N, C, Comma, and Lars.
hey, wait, isn't that last guy me?
ya, i ended up taking on the name of one of those guys after we fused. i guess i should also explain the variation in names for those familiar with Murder Drones: C was an introject of Cyn, Lars one of Lizzy, and Comma one of an original character our previous host had created.
not everyone listed there was part of this fusion; we split M (another N introject) & Uzi some time after the other 4 drones appeared. Uzi slowly became our new host, with the previous going completely dormant within the next few months (we assume. still unsure where he went tbh, but we're not too concerned with that anymore). now, Uzi is no longer the system host. not because he fused with me, but because he fused into kyle. their fusion happened before mine, but the time between the two is short.
i, Lars as i exist today, am a definite fusion of N & Lars. C feels... like a part of me, but it doesn't feel right to say they fused with me yet. Comma still exists as hazes own alter (hi), as well as M.
apologies, but it's comma now writing this. i accidentally took control of the body as i was being talked about. #justsystemthings i guess. i know exactly the feelings lars was trying to make its way towards, so i'll do my best to convey them here. i share these feelings, so i think i can do that pretty effectively.
after the fusion of previous-Lars & N (and maybe C), Lars, M, nor i fronted for quite a long time. this felt strange for everybody in the system not only because we had so many changes to the system happening lately, but because we had gotten used to feeling like a drone; a machine.
we often got dysphoria from having skin & flesh. we're not supposed to be so... squishy. so fragile. our joints are supposed to be metal balls, and they're certainly not supposed to hurt this much all the time! where is my vision screen? why do i have two seperate organs to see, as opposed to the simple screen that we're used to? and, in the case of Uzi, where are my wings & tail?
these feelings would often conflict with other alters' species dysphoria and/or self perception of their respective species, but it was never a huge bother, just something we noticed & lived with. even with these minor disturbances, we quickly began to miss the feeling of being a machine when there was so much silence from myself & the other drones. it was... very weird, not feeling wrong in a flesh body.
forgive us, it's Lars again.
now that Comma & i are able to front more frequently, there's been an odd comfort in feeling less human again. don't get us wrong, we never feel like a human these days; not with all the nonhumans running around in our head! what i'm trying to say is, it's nice feeling like yourself again instead of a dog, pony, dragon or what have you. us drones feel most like ourselves when we can see ourselves for what we are: inorganic. artificial. we're robots again, and it's comforting to know we are.